I Am Who I Have To Be

Reading this book sparked some thoughts and feelings about my life patterns.

I have sat in a quiet moment and thought about all those things we tend to think

and rethink over and over. Some things I never got to do, never chose to do

and things I crossed off my list years ago.

I always awaken early in the morning before anyone else is stirring around.

I will be starting a new phase in life soon, another move (I have lived in the home

I am in for 12 years). I was married when I moved here and I went thru a divorce

here also. I met Brian while I lived here, watched my daughter grow up here.

She turned 16, then 21 here and I in turn turned the 4-0 and the 5-0 here also.

I lost myself and found my self in this home. (I figured out alot of things living here in this space.)

I have taken up journaling again, trying to remember the joys I had as a child

and the relationships that shaped me to who I am now.There are boxes and boxes

of photos, old polaroids of me and dad and mom and hard relationships that forced

me to make decisions  that led me to where I am now. Oh how I realize now

that I would not change those decisions for anything for what I have gotten out

of this place I have arrived.

I lived in Colorado for a time and lately, I have found myself revisiting

those places- and that time again and again. I remember many days being

an adventure just to be able to drive out to somewhere and get out and

explore the land and mountains, the sun and snow and trails that lay before

me. I will never forget those times when the sun was high and I was blessed

to walk into the forest and mountains and alongside the Colorado river.

I find myself yearning to return to that place again. Just that feeling of the unknown adventure.

     **

 We will be returning to Colorado and Utah this summer as we always  do.           

            I look forward to those warm days with the high sun and the cool mountain breezes.                


     I will make the most of my time there. There was a time when I planned to live there and

make              

   a new life there, but I soon found out that I was living my life and to get on with it now. So I did 

and           

  here I am in all this good stuff I have now everyday. Family, friends, love, work, this space I have

here with you all. The content of my life is full. I have discovered who I am after all these days of

living. Of making choices to do and not to do. Of finding delight in this stage of it all. I will not get

ahead of the moment and worry about tomorrow. I will be be happy in today. I will not pretend that

my life is a result of uncontrollable events, because I have been there every moment to make the

choices I have made. I am who I ought to be, I feel the tug from my soul to live truthfully, to say

these things aloud. I am who I have to be.

Joining Project Alicia, Black and White Wednesday,Wordless Wednesday But With Words,

**P52:Self Portrait, Live and Love Out Loud

Golden Moments

Happy Tuesday to you friends.  Hope today finds you in a creative spirit.

I have been inspired by the book I am reading, Walden, by Henry David Thoreau.

I find my self searching many times for a more simple pace.

To slow things down, and find a fresh perspective.

To find a simple happiness in those small, everyday moments.

You know, those ones we take for granted at times.

The smell of fresh morning coffee,

hearing the morning rain from the warmth of your bed.

Hearing the birds as the day becomes evening tending to

their last minute business in the fields.

The far away sound of a truck rolling down this lonely

road I sit near and gaze out to when I am in the moment.

These small things become golden.

These everyday moments we find to connect the bigger

events.

The simplicity in living moment to moment.


Here's hoping you have many golden moments today friends.


Joining Texture Tuesday, Sweet Shot Tuesday,Photo Tip Tuesday.

Photo edited with Kim Klassen texture, "not too shabby" in soft light at 100%,
and "simplicity" in multiply at 60%, then erased at 4%. Phrase "simplicity"
credit of Henry David Thoreau, from Walden, "Where I Lived, What I Lived For."

Notes on Bravery

I have never thought myself to be a writer or elaborate storyteller, yet I find myself these days needing to add more personal meaning to what it is I do here in this space. This photo represents a place where I sit quite often, even on the coldest of days. I love to sit in the morning with my tea and just let my mind wander. I have recently taken up journaling again, which I recommend. (The process of thoughts to paper can do much for any soul.) I have been thinking about how we all go thru "stuff" and how we all sort it out differently. I looked up the meaning of brave and a simple definition was, "having or showing courage." So who do we show our courage to if we don't exactly have it? What if I am scared, fearful of the outcome, worried about my future? How can I be brave? I decided I needed to show myself some courage. To show myself I could get up, live my life in spite of what was going on around me. There is a term for this, it is called bearing witness. That voice you hear that says things to you, good or bad. The one you constantly hear. "You shouldn't do that, don't eat that, don't trust him, you should do this and not that." Yes, you know that voice.* That is the one you show your bravest self to.

What does bravery look like? It is giving yourself a break, moving forward, realizing nothing happens by accident. How does bravery act? She gets up and she feeds her soul with the things that makes her heart sing. What colors do you love? Paint your toes. What music do you like? Turn it on. Try some better healthy foods that will feed your creativity and help you thrive. Make friends with those you know really deep down inside care about you and lift you up. Get plenty of rest, plenty to drink, smile, say hello,* practice your art wholeheartedly.

Am I up every day? Absolutely not, but I have learned to recognize where that voice nags at me and to ignore it. I have enjoyed all of you who have shared with me some of the things that have been going on in your life right this moment. For many of you I truly do understand. This community is what this is all about. Connections and friendships. We share thru our creativity. We understand this art of photography and why we do it. It feeds our souls and for some it is a living, but what joy if it is both for some of you.

I am sharing with some others today. It is my hope that you will visit them and say hello, and maybe connect with them along the way.

52 Linked-"Tired" this photo does represent where I come alot of days when I am tired and just seeking quiet.


{This is the collective group of women who are musing for 52 Linked.}

Stacey, Jenn, Tracey, Andrea , Heather,

Kristin, Amanda, Rhonda

Amanda, Sara, Janet, Lesli,

Carla, Lena, Rose, Naomi, Tracy,

Focus 52-"Leading Lines" my lovely old steps I am currently stripping, kinda shabby...maybe.

Triptych-"Trust" yes, trust and bravery hold hands.

52 Photos-"Where I Lay My Head Down" yes, sometimes I do that in this space when the weather permits.

Three From Here and There-"Anatomy" my hands hold my journal which is close to me at all times these days. I am not

writing lengthy entries, just random thoughts, notes,about working things out and making life work.

If you are here, I want to thank you for visiting me for this post today. Please leave me a message on your thoughts.

Practice your art. Tell a story with your art. Practice bravery when required, seek out friends, be open to the next life

adventure. Be brave all you beautiful souls ♥

About Serendipity....

You wanna know something? I was thinking today how funny life can be. You think you are making your way down your own little path in life until you begin reflecting back. So today I was kinda doing some thinking on where I was about a year and a half ago. Job lost, no immediate prospects in the horizon. Found a little lump in my breast. Panic. It all felt like I really wasn't in control of anything at all, but rather I was being led along by things beyond my control. It was in the stir of all this chaos that the little idea to start a blog popped in my head. I needed an outlet, a diversion, something to focus on, journal, chronicle the days and feelings and thoughts that were running thru my head.

So I began a blog. Taught myself alot of things, most of all patience and trust the process. You know what I mean? It was quite a feat to gather those first thoughts, post and send them out into the unknown. And wait. Would anyone read those words, would anyone respond and want to be "blog friends?" I still remember how I felt when I got my first several responses to my posts. Excitement, and then what next?

I learned alot from that first year of blogging. I remember sending a message to Edie, and getting the kindest words back from her almost immediately saying, "don't worry, you will figure it all out. It is a little tricky at first but I believe you will be good at this." Kind words can take you so far..........♥

These last two years have been incredible. I have met great souls thru this community, started my own project, had a few little features here and there and all in all I am chronicling my daily life in a photo. I have grown a little, developed my eye a little, learned my way around photoshop a tiny bit. Most of all I have realized we all have a story to tell. That lump turned out to be nothing serious, I became gainfully employed again, my daughter is doing well with her new pump for her diabetes and I think I am learning to embrace my first month of being "50."

                                          By the way, this was the message from my tea bag this morning. Speaking of serendipity.......

                                                          I would love to hear your story. Leave me a message so I can learn yours.

                                                                                           Happy Tuesday my friends.

                                                                                                  Trust the process ♥

                                                     Joining Texture Tuesday and Sweet Shot Tuesday ,Tones on Tuesday,Sweet Violet

                                                                                                                            

                                                           Kim Klassen textures "Serendipity, Not Too Shabby, and Sweettart" used in PSE.

Everyday Moments

I'm trying to capture more everyday moments of my life for one of my projects this year.

A moment of afternoon sun catches my eye as I pass by the window. Just another day,passing

by the same window. I see how the light comes thru and it really isn't an ordinary day

anymore. I have captured a little magic that I forget to look for in the everyday.

I shoot the light and I continue my day. Tomorrow I will look for the magic moment

again. I think I have missed too many little moments like these.

Joining The Creative Exchange, Show Off Your Shot.

Happy Monday friends. Find the moment.

Scavenger Hunt Sunday

Sunset-I had to go into the archives. We just haven't had any sun to speak of, but then no snow either.

Black and White-I shot this photo 4 days ago. This was the only one I liked out of several.
I take several shots of a subject looking for the one I feel really "speaks". I have been trying
to work more with shooting my polaroid spectra, and though I like the film, I am still
experimenting with different lighting conditions.

A Day in my Life-Yesterday I made coconut chicken soup. Coconut milk, garlic, ginger, snow peas,
spring onions,rice noodles and cilantro on top. Good for what ails you! (BTW this was hot! Thai chilis and cayenne, whoooo!)

Four-a sepia portrait of distortion and my wood bowl collection. There are 4 there, really.

Color-I love these old glass vials of powdered porcelain paints.The labels read "Fry's Vitrifiable
Colors for china- New York." I imagine the person who owned these created some beautiful pieces of hand painted china. I would love to have seen them.

Just another shot from a day in my life. We are stripping the back deck. I went out to gather some supplies and these 2 were there to greet me. I love that I live right along the woods and they
all cross thru here. Two days ago a coyote hobbled thru this area. I saw him while I was sitting at my computer, but he moved out too quickly as they always do. Maybe next time.

Today here is grey and foggy. We are expecting rain, warming into the 50's.

Oh snow where have you gone?

I miss you so. I miss playing and hiking

and shooting pictures outside when you

are falling. I hope you visit soon.

Have a lazy, happy Sunday friends.

Joining Scavenger Hunt Sunday,

Sunday Snapshot,The Simple Things.

52 Linked: Breakfast

I woke up early this morning ( as I usually do).

I made a mental list of all the things to do today.

Visit some blogs of those who visit here.

We are refinishing some things inside the house.

I hope to visit some antique shops later today.

Laundry. Cooking for the weekend. Organize photos.

Today is cold as in 20 degrees. I can't think of anything

I want to do that involves going outside today other than

a little road trip.

So I am hoping that my healthy little breakfast will spark

those creative juices. A cup of Tazo black with stevia.

Cranberry granola cereal with walnuts, coconuts and milk.

A few quiet moments alone in thoughts.

BTW: I have fully enjoyed all the visits here this week

from all of you. I look forward to reading everyone's comments

and visiting your blogs. I honestly try to visit each and

everyone of you. Having this blog community has done

so much for me personally over the last year. I can't

believe sometimes all the incredibly talented folks out

there. I love the stories, the photos, the crafts and all

the soulful connections I have been able to make thru

this community.

Here's to finding your creative flow, to awakening to

the day with a purpose, to more connections among

kindred souls, and a wonderful weekend spent among

those you hold closely.

Musing today with these ladies.

Let's keep growing this community.

Hope you stop by to visit each and everyone.

Just say hello, ( after all, you never know what doors

are opening with the next hello.....)

Michelle

Stacey

Tracey

Heather

Jenn

Kristin

Jessica

Amanda M

Lesli

Amanda

Sara

Janet

Tracy

Naomi

Rhonda

Rose

Lena

Heidi

On a cold, blustery day we trek up a mountain. We are crazy because

it is 20 degrees, and the wind is blowing fiercely.

Have you ever just wanted to escape so bad into the world that

no matter what the circumstances, you must be away from the

everyday pace? Renew your thoughts and breathe in calm?

We passed no one on the trail this day. We were loners moving

along and feeling the sunshine thru the wind and cold. It was

enough just to be in the world and feel awakened. The trail crunched

under our feet from the ice. The wind whipped around us so strong

our cheeks felt frozen. The sun shined on us, so bright and clear and we

saw the colors of a winter mountain before us. We stood there remembering

how many times we had visited this place for the last 20 years. It has brought

us a peace of mind many times over, a getaway from the regular, the routine.

We wanted to have a wild little adventure.

Wild, and cold, and bright, and clear.

We looked up into the trees, where the blue peeked thru.

We looked down at the rock and the ice with it's patterns

that made pictures we could see.

We looked out across the mountain as far as you can see.

(We stood in the sun.)

Joining Project Alicia, 52 Photos, Sweet Violet.

Happy Wednesday my friends. Be wild this day.

My word for this year is create.

I feel this photo fits just because I am seeking

to remain open like a book.

Seeing the little glimpses that I might otherwise

miss.

Cultivating a creative spirit at home, with my

actions and looking at the world with an idea

that anything is possible.

Open to new friends, new art, new dreams.

Happy, wonderful Tuesday all of you little

creative souls out there.

Embrace this day ♥

{Kim Klassen texture "serendipity" applied,then erased and "aurora" applied in soft light @ 100%}


Joining Texture Tuesday, Sweet Shot Tuesday.

Weekend Life

I wanted to share some photos from a small river town nearby that I visit from time to time. I visited the

area yesterday in the early evening hoping to catch the remains of the day and the magic that happens

for us photographers when the golden sun is sliding down and the blue hour takes over before

nightfall. This little forgotten river town goes back into hibernation after the holidays. A few shops remain open

for business, along with the town's restaurants. You can literally blink your eyes and be thru this place before

you know you passed thru it.

**The Mississippi River is wide and beautiful at this time of year. This part of the river is no longer

accessible in the area where I took this photo. This small town has seen it's share of floods. The river

continues to reshape it's banks. There is some remaining carnage from the last flood that rolled

thru this area. In the spring, the Mississippi is fierce and angry looking for relief from the

continual swelling of the melting northern snows. It finds it's relief here along the

banks of these small towns. I love this place. The eagles and hawks gather and fly over

as if they are guardians of these riverbanks. They glide down near me curious and quiet

as I stand and watch the gold change to blue in this river valley.

I love this little town when it becomes forgotten. It's quiet solitude and the roll of the river help me find a kind

of inner peace (and a reason to post a few soulful words) that I sometimes forget about relying on. So, I

walk about in this town, thankful for the residents and their quiet rhythm of living along the Mississippi.

They look and watch, but don't seem to mind the occasional stranger that walks about their little town

gazing out across the river, looking up into the sky. They share this space in the valley. No doubt when

I come here again, the landscape will have changed. But there is always the constant roll of the

river. The never changing roll.


Happy Monday. Happy Adventures.


{Get out and find your creative soul.}


Joining The Creative Exchange, Show Off Your Shot,** Triptych,

Barn Charm, Mellow Yellow Monday, Quotography, Favorite Photo Monday,

Blue Monday.


“The Mississippi River towns are comely, clean, well built, and pleasing to the eye, and cheering to the spirit. The Mississippi Valley is as reposeful as a dreamland, nothing worldly about it . . . nothing to hang a fret or a worry upon.”    
Mark Twain, Life On The Mississippi
       

Stacked up-This is an old weekend lodge my family gets together at in the summer
in southern Missouri. I really got into shooting with my hipstamatic app this summer
and I'm really glad I did.

Winter Wonderland-We just had our first "little" snow this last week, and it
wasn't much to speak about. More ice than snow and the morning drive
that normally takes me 22 minutes took me over an hour.

Sweet-I have purged most sweet from the house, but these jellies, jams  and fruits
were still lingering in the pantry. I liked the colors, so I stacked and snapped.

Hole-I know this is a stretch, but I really couldn't come up with anything here!

Frozen-The deck  that we enjoy thru the other 3 seasons has now become abandoned.
I felt like I should snap something that included a place that provides us with so
much enjoyment the rest of the year.

**A simple selfie.

In 2012 I am:

Venturing into self portraiture, learning to embrace what I see in the camera

when it is pointing at me. Understanding who I am, the story my face tells

and the places I will travel this year will bring their own rewards by the end

of 2012.

Shooting and studying lo-fi. I have discovered over the last year that I have

a true passion for lo-fi creations. I started here.

Becoming a better photographer. This means many things to me. Developing my

eye more. Finding the creative moments. Discovering the magical light.

Learning the more technical side of shooting a photo.

Diving into polaroidography. I have begun already with a little

project called This Little Instant(*). We are discovering the

art of shooting in instant film. Every photo I shoot, I learn more

about the camera and about my skills and what catches my eye and

why. I just finished a collaborative project via Shutter Sisters via Facebook

called "Picture The Holidays" with a group of over 500 participants. I will do

this again next year. It was fast and a creative whirlwind and I met many that I

now can call friends.

I am wondering if you have a 2012 list in your head, on

paper or journaled?

What are you venturing into this year? Any great aspirations or

dreams you have that you will be fulfilling? I would love to hear them.

Creativity nurtures the soul.

Hope you have a soulful Sunday friends.

Joining Scavenger Hunt Sunday, **The Weekend in Black and White,

The Simple Things.

The Collector

**The Collector is my other name.

I choose this because it fits me well.

I wander along a little path in the woods

and I am looking down to find treasures.

One of a kinds. I now have many treasures:

feathers. rocks. fossils. butterflies.

birds nests. old pottery. old rusted metal.

I found this along a flooded plain while walking

yesterday. It is made with the wild little grapevines

that grow in the area.

I am thinking today how fragile it is.

How it was home once upon a time.

It created life and shelter from the harshness.

I love that all these small findings tell a story.

I love my little diana lens and how

it has a mind of it's own and it creates

a mood in a photo at will. dreamy little diana


(I am the collector.)


a little musing today for Texture Tuesday, Triptych,

Sweet Shot Tuesday, Show Off Your Shot, and



**Photo edited in PSE. Kim Klassen texture "aurora" applied, erased at 12%
and color burn applied for contrast, then "embrace" applied in soft light at 5%.


What is your story?

I have this new project here. Curious about instamatic photography?

Want to learn more? Join us, we are creating and sharing with each other.

I would love to meet you. Click here for more details.

Have a lovely, creative, sweet Tuesday my friends.

One Color-How about shades of blue? (I debated about this one for empty, because
my sink is empty for a short instant!)

Laundry-the little shot of the laundry area, and some background scenery to add to it.

Empty-My empty lonely polaroid land camera. Waiting on my film to arrive.

One Dozen-My variety of teas I consume. There really are dozen here, you can
see corners under packages. Kind of fun to try and count them all.

Soft-my morning breakfast area in the morning light.


Fun as always doing the Sunday Scavenger Hunt.

We are slowly getting back into the swing of the routines here.

Putting away Christmas, purging the old, making room

for the new.

This Little Instant(*) is underway and I am loving

the creativity that this group has.

If you love instant photography, or are curious

and thinking about learning more, read here.

We would love to have you.

Joining Scavenger Hunt Sunday, Project 52,

Sunday Snapshot, Creative Everyday 2012.

Have a happy, happy Sunday friends.

(this moment)

this was my morning moment  before rushing to work.

a mild winter day, yes.

kind enough to wander around in the grass with bare feet.

I am awaiting my new diana lens for my nifty nikon.

I want to play with pictures.

Create and be playful.

Lighten up just a bit.

Happy it is Friday and grounding again

in our daily routines that bring us comfort.

The knowing what to expect what is next.

(Yes, the unknown is unsettling.)

I know in this moment when life starts leading

you down a new path, interesting things are underway

and

just enjoy the trip.

This moment I have on my new fave flannel shirt,

just finished a big cup of hot vanilla-black pekoe tea.

My new impossible film is here ♥

Creating for this little project. Join us if you like.

I would love to have you.

(I have more info here on this project.)

All love, my friends. All good stuff.

Musing with Liz Lamoreux In this moment,

SouleMama {this moment}, Fabulous Friday, iPhonography.

Sometimes you need to get out to get on with it.

My brain works in mysterious ways, I know this.

I needed to clear my mind from the clutter of

the fast paced holidays. Came and went fast.

So, as you all know, I love to wander about

and capture a day, just any old place where

I am feeling it, if you know what I mean. I

find a composition before me, something that

I can feel and I shoot. I shoot many times

and many angles.

Can you feel this one? Are you there with me?

Quietly, the crew that I was with ventured off, and

they know my routine. I wander to a spot where

I look for the groove of a moment. Am I always dead on?

NO....but, I will take my chances, follow my instinct and

I stay true to what I find interesting, what I feel tells a

story.

Do you see the story here?

Late evening, snowy valley, just me and this little

moment of beauty that no one else may ever see so

I had to share, I couldn't let this moment pass

me

by.



My word this year is create.*


By the way friends,

This Little Instant (*) is shaping up quite nicely.

If you love analog instant photography join us.

Learn, create, inspire, capture.

What is your word?

Joining Project Alicia, 52 Photos, Naptime Momtog,

and then, she snapped, live and love out loud.

** Little Miss Madelyn being the barefoot girl she loves to be.

I have a love for creating vintage photos. This was taken late in the summer of 2011.

Field flowers that still have a lasting beauty.

A vintage dyptich of a little abandoned riverside town.

Sharing today with Texture Tuesday, Photo Tip Tuesday,

Sweet Shot Tuesday, Tones on Tuesday.

Happy Tuesday ya'll!

** Photo edited with Kim Klassen "Word" texture.
 Layer erased after applied in soft light, layer flattened
and burned at 12% in PSE.

2012 is blowing in quickly here.

The wind is fierce and cold but the

sun is shining. Here it is a shot of

a new day and the new year.

I hope this day finds you at peace

with the past and looking forward to

a grand year of living in the moment.

Set your path for laughter

insight, creativity, bravery,

hope, listening, being in the

moment.

My moment right now is

cold fingers (the house is still chilly),

needing my first cup of coffee.

Listening to the wind blowing.

Getting ready to take a hike today

along the Missouri river and

capture the day in photographs.

What moment are you in right now?

Sharing at these places today.

The Creative Exchange, Show Off Your Shot,

Mellow Yellow Monday, Project 366 Rewind.

Enter 2012 my friends, and embrace the day